Wow, 29 chapters already. You guys are amazing for supporting me and liking it. I love you all. Follow and give feedback please. xxxxxxx
*also there is a picture at the bottom of what me and my friend thought Allison would look like*
The second Harry closed the door behind them we all looked at Niall, who we could tell was upset about what had just happened.
“Niall, she just needs some time to get comfortable with guys around her.” Perrie said coming up to him and putting an arm around him.
“Now can we go find that asshole from the club?” He said ignoring her comforting.
“That’s not a good idea Niall.” Liam said.
“I’m in.” Louis said over Liam.
They all looked at me for my answer.
“I think we should.” I tried sounding brave but I didn’t want us to find him; I knew that if we did nothing good would come from it.
“Zayn.” Perrie scolded me.
“What? You don’t think we should go and teach him a lesson on how to treat a woman? You see how torn up she is, why can’t we do anything about the asshole who did it to her.”
“We all know the second you guys find him that the only thing you’ll all want to do is kill him more than you do now. Please don’t.” She pleaded.
“When Harry gets back tonight with Als we’ll tell him what we’re doing and we’ll go.” I said turning to the boys, Niall and Louis nodded while Liam looked down from my gaze.
“It’s a plan.” Louis said.
The rest of the time we ate we were telling each other jokes, mostly I was telling her jokes so she’d laugh.
“I forgot how lame your jokes are.”
“Whatever. You love them.”
“I never said I didn’t.” She said with a smile.
Allison’s phone rang with a new text message.
“It’s Zayn; he asked if we could come back now, he needs to talk to you.”
"About what?" I asked her.
"It doesn’t say.” she shrugged
I scooted out of the back of my car and picked up all the trash, Allison watching me the whole time.
When I looked up at her, catching her looking at me she blushed as she looked away.
"There is a dumpster over there; I’m going to go throw this away." I pointed in the direction of it.
"Okay. I’m going to get in the front seat."
She hopped out, closed the trunk and walked to the front door.
"Hurry up," she said turning to me, "It’s dark and creepy."
I nodded and started walking to the trash.
After throwing it away I rushed back to my car before Allison would get creeped out. When I opened my door she jumped.
"Sorry." I apologized.
She didn’t speak anymore after that, she looked out the window and clenched her fists tightly in her lap. I reached over and put my hand on top of her clenched fist and pulled it open and intertwined my fingers with hers.
I looked up to see her smiling while looking out the window.
There was a lot of tension when we walked into Zayn’s flat.
Perrie instantly grabbed Allison and pulled her into the bedroom.
"What’s going on?" I asked.
"They want to go find him." Liam said motioning to the others around him.
I didn’t say anything at first. I thought of what would happen if we did find him, I’m sure Allison would feel a lot better and wouldn’t feel like she needed to watch for him wherever she went.
But also judging from the looks on Zayn and Louis faces they were pissed beyond belief and wanted to make him pay.
I wanted to make him pay.
"I’m in." I said after deliberating.
"Harry, this really isn’t smart. We shouldn’t do it." Liam said trying to convince me.
"Stay here with the girls then. Don’t let them know where we went." Zayn said to him as he grabbed his coat.
"I want to make him suffer too guys, but not like this."
"Have you not been here to hear her crying for hours the past few days? Or to see her afraid because Niall hugged her. Niall. Everyone’s teddy bear, she was scared of him." Louis said aggravated.
Liam just stood there silent.
"Let’s go." Zayn said to us.
This was going to end badly. I could tell.
For who it would end bad for I don’t know.
After hearing some shouting from the living room and hearing the front door slam closed, Liam walked into the room. He gave us a small smile before joining us on the bed.
We sat in silence for a while before Perrie spoke up.
"Did they go?" Perrie asked him.
They looked at each other and then to me.
"How about we watch a movie?" Liam asked changing the subject.
"Where did they go?" I asked louder.
"How about something funny. 21 Jump Street sounds perfect." He said to himself.
"Liam, tell me where they went."
He sighed loudly, “To find that guy from the club.”
I didn’t say anything; I grabbed my phone and started dialing Harry’s number.
"You can’t make us come back." He said when he answered.
"Harry, please. Don’t. He probably won’t even be there."
"We just pulled up at the club," He stopped talking for a minute, "Funny. Guess who I see."
I could hear the anger in his voice. I heard him tell the others that he saw the guy, then I heard them pushing through people.
"Hey bud, how about we go have a little chat out in back?" I heard Louis say to him.
This was bad.
"Harry, please." I said pleading.
I heard him reply to Louis’ demand.
"Sorry there is no getting out of this chat. Your next little victim will have to wait." Harry said to him.
"Harry." I said.
"I’ve got to go."
He didn’t wait for me to say anything before hanging up.
I stared at my blank phone screen.
"They did find him?" Liam asked.
"I guess he likes going to that club." I mumbled.
Perrie put her arm around me, “It’ll be alright.”
God I hope so.
After 45 minutes of us silently sitting on my bed we heard the front door open.
"You guys go. I don’t want to see them." I said getting under the covers.
They closed the door behind them. I heard chatter from the next room. I couldn’t concentrate enough to figure out what they were saying.
My door opened quietly.
"I have no aspiration in seeing your face right now." I spat out.
I heard him sigh, and then he got under the covers.
"I’m being fucking serious." I moved away from him.
"Allie. Come on."
"No. You come on. I asked you to stop and come home but you four fucking idiots still went."
I pushed him away from me.
"He was proud of what he did to you, you know that? When we took him outback he remembered me and couldn’t stop going on and on about how he wish you’d never gotten away so he could have had his way with you." There was acid in his voice as he told me.
I froze as he spoke.
"Are you still mad that we beat the shit out of him?" He asked angry.
I didn’t say anything to him. I just got out of the bed and started walking to the bathroom so I could lock myself in.
Harry must’ve known that was my idea because he jumped out of the bed and raced over to me and grabbed my arm.
"I want to be alone." I whispered.
"You’ve been alone for three days. You need company."
"You don’t know what I need." I snapped.
"Yes, I do."
"Harry, you can’t not see me for months and then act like nothing’s changed. You don’t know if I’ve changed. You don’t know if I’m even the same person."
"I could not see you for ten years and still know every single thing about you. You didn’t change. And you are the same person. Well you’re a bit snippier with me now than before."
"Harry just stop."
I pulled my arm out of his grasp and he took a step back.
"You don’t know a thing about me. All those months we were around each other I bet you didn’t pay one ounce of attention to anything other than my face and body. You’re just like every other sick guy out there."
Desperation crossed his face, “you know that’s not true. I know everything about you. Just like you know everything about me. I’m not going to lie; of course I looked at your body like that. I’m sure every one of us boys has.”
"I don’t want to hear anything you have to say to me."
"I know your most ticklish spot is your neck, and whenever I tickle you you go mad laughing," he stopped and reached out for me again and I let him, "I know you can’t stand reading past page three in a book without reading the end and finding out if it has a happy ending before going on, and when there isn’t a happy ending you go on a huge rant about how every book needs a happy ending."
I blushed at the truth in that. Knowing it was a pet peeve of mine when there wasn’t a happy ending.
"I have at least twenty letters under my bed listing things about you I love." He confessed.
"No you don’t."
"Yes I -"
I cut him off, “No you don’t. I have them, in my suitcase. One of the boys mailed me them.”
I walked over to my suitcase and pulled out the big envelope and dumped the contents on my bed.
He walked over to the bed but didn’t say a word to me. I picked up one of the letters and opened it.
I met someone. She is absolutely nothing like you, in a strange way I like it.
I know Zayn picked her out to take you off my mind, but when I look at her the only thing I can do is list all the things about you that are better than her. That’s a horrid thing to say, I know. But I’m just being honest.
She’s also really mean and clingy. Yet we’re only friends. I’ve known her all of a week and she constantly wants to be around me. I hate it.
Her name is Anna. Funny, huh? Same first letters of names. In a weird way I wish she was like you though. So I could put my feelings for you into a relationship with her.
She hates my jokes and never laughs at them.
I loved that about you.
The boys don’t even laugh at them.
But you did, probably because you knew how good it made me feel to make you laugh when I know how sad you can get sometimes.
I hope all is good with you.
I saw the pictures of you and some guy in a leather jacket. You looked happy.
I wish I was the one making you happy.
I don’t hang out with the boys as much. I know how often you all talk and they get awkward when you text them.
I don’t really know what else to write.
The other day I went out shopping and saw the most beautiful dress, I couldn’t help but think how you would look in it, the thought actually made me smile. The sales lady was hounding me about how I should buy it for my special woman, I proceeded to tell her that me and the person I wanted to wear the dress were only friends and we got in a fight so stopped talking. I told her pretty much our whole story, she probably hated me. But after I told her she told me to fight for you.
How can I fight for someone I have no chance with?
I looked up at him briefly before opening another letter.
The boys have been really secretive lately. I also heard Niall say he was excited to see you.
But we have no way of seeing you before May.
I was confused.
But then I thought about it. Maybe that’s why they were being weird.
They might be planning a surprise trip to see you.
They wouldn’t talk to me about it, obviously. Because you don’t like seeing me.
Niall misses you. Almost as much as me. It’s a little strange.
He felt like you were his honorary sister by default if being around so much. I think it also had to do with you making him food all the time.
When I think of you I can’t help but think of things I could’ve done differently.
Maybe when you first said you only wanted to be friends I should have declined that offer and said I wanted more.
Or when I went away to New York I should have told you how I felt first instead of going out for a hookup.
And the time we went to the beach and Ian showed up, I should have said that I had these feelings for you.
I should have fought for you.
Has anyone ever fought for you?
Is that why you feel you don’t deserve anyone?
Because no one fights to be with you?
I’d fight to the death if I had to.
Just to get one moment with you.
I let the letter fall out of my hands as I quickly tore open another.
Let’s be honest, these aren’t ending anytime soon. I know, I said there’d be a few, but I feel like writing these are like talking to you.
Well it’s the closest I’ll get.
Eleanor came over today to hang out with Lou. They didn’t know I was home; she started telling him about this guy you’ve gone on a few dates with. And how you sent her a picture of you two together and you’re “so cute” together.
I was really upset about it. Really really upset.
I’ve listened to all these songs lately that the only thing it does is make me think of you. It’s a horrible idea. I know.
You told me to forget you.
The thought of that makes me laugh. How could you get forgotten? How could anyone forget you?
This one was a lot shorter, but I can’t think of anything else to write.
But I hope whoever that guy is makes you happy. You deserve to be happy.
I looked up at Harry and he had one in his hand held out to me, “This was the second one. My personal favorite.”
I opened it and wasn’t prepared for what it said.
I’m going to start this off saying how incredibly furious with you I am. Furious that you’d have a dream like marrying me when you tell me you didn’t feel that way for me. Zayn told me the day we left how you really felt about me, I know you’ll be mad at him for telling me, but it was a little bit of a relief. I thought I was a complete loser who had all these wasted feelings. He also told me how torn up you are about not talking to me anymore, the feeling is 1000% mutual. I miss how we use to be when I saw you for hours every day and we always were talking when we weren’t together, you mean everything to me as a friend and it breaks my heart that you felt like he couldn’t be friends anymore. I would take being friends with you than not talking to you at all. I love you more than anything, you have no idea. I realize that my fame might have freaked you out too much to be in a relationship with me.
I wish you would get over your insecurities; you have no idea how beautiful you are. When I first brought you over all the boys joked about how maybe you wanted to date them instead of me. You are the most incredible person I’ve ever met. Don’t let some asshole that is obviously blind tell you otherwise. You are beautiful, the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. And I swear I mean that, I would never lie to you.
I realize that these letters are meant for me to forget about you entirely, but I doubt that is going to happen just yet. Right now all these letters are making me do is think of how funny you are. And how beautiful you look when you smile. That you’re most ticklish spot is your neck and how when I touch your neck you get goose bumps all over and freak out. That you absolutely despise tomatoes. You can’t stand reading past page three in a book without reading the end and finding out if it has a happy ending before going on, and when there isn’t a happy ending you go on a huge rant about how every book needs a happy ending. I remember how whenever you’d read you’d stretch your legs out onto my lap and wouldn’t stop reading until you finished the book all the way, you would stay up until 6 in the morning if that’s what it took.
I remember how whenever you’d sing a song you’d give it your heart and soul like that song was completely meant for you. Especially when I caught you singing Little Things that one time. That actually broke my heart, because you were crying so hard as you sang along to the lyrics. I knew that you didn’t want to listen to that song when anyone was around because it made you emotional because you felt like you had all these flaws that no one loved. But I do. Unconditionally. I love how you laugh even though you think it’s annoying and you hate it. I love how whenever we watched your favorite movie Radio you would cry like a baby. I love how whenever we watched a scary movie you would hold onto me like your life depended on it. I love how when you walk your right foot goes in slightly. I love how you can’t go a day without repainting your nails. I love whenever you walked around the house with your hair in a messy bun and no makeup on how you still looked like the most beautiful girl in the world. I love how you always laughed at my lame jokes even though no one else would. I love how open you were when it came to things I wanted to do instead of complaining about how you hated it before you even did it, like that time I wanted to go play laser tag. I’ve never seen you laugh so hard. I love how cold your feet get at night so you wrap them in mine to make them warmer. I love how you love cuddling as much as me.
But most of all, I love you.
I know you’ll never see this, but I wish you knew how incredible you are.
Tears were streaming down my face.
"He told you that?" I asked.
"Is all of this true?"
I took a deep breath to try to calm down, but it only came out as sobs.
"Allie." He whispered pulling me to his chest.
"You have blood on your shirt." I pushed him away disgusted.
He looked down at his shirt as if to see if I was lying, he then pulled off his shirt and threw it on the floor.
"You’ve gotten even more tattoos." I said with a sad smile.
"I got this one for you." He said pointing to the heart on his arm.
"Because you’re my heart." He told me like he was saying the sky was blue.
"Because I’m your heart." I repeated.
"Because I love you.”
"I love you."
He pulled me close again and held me tight.
“I’ve wanted to hold you for so long.”
I put my arms around his waist, squeezing me to him.
"I’ve wanted you to hold me too." I mumbled against his chest.
"I’ve forgotten how short you were compared to me." He laughed.
He laughed harder and kissed my head.
This is what I’ve wanted for so long.
To be held by the guy I loved.
Who loved me.